Life Lessons – Blabbing

Do you ever wonder about Life? I mean not the meaning of life but why are some people one way and why are some another way. Don’t get me wrong I get it.. If we where all the same then we would be robots. But lets talk about life and people..

So for me I have a mouth and a lot of times my mouth gets me in trouble.. Its not that I cuss or anything like that but I just don’t know when to shut up sometimes. I repeat what others have told me when I think its funny just to find out that someone thought it was mean and then they blame me for it.. and yes I did say it but I repeated it and it didn’t even come from my brain and when I said it I even quoted the person who I heard it from. But that’s not what people hear.. They hear me saying it……… Not the quote or anything that went along with the conversation just the one little part they chose to hear coming out of my mouth. Or they only ease drop on a part of the conversation and the little bite that they heard they now run with it…  They now have a part of a conversation that sounded like I was mean but in reality if they heard the whole conversation then they would have found out I was NOT being mean I was truly being nice. Then that person tells the person it was about what little they heard or what they wanted to hear and made there feelings get hurt.. Which was NEVER my intention to hurt anyone’s feelings.. I am FAR from perfect but I try my hardest to I never purposely sets out to hurt someone else. I have had enough hurt in my life that I would not EVER want that for someone else NO MATTER WHAT.  But my question is WHY – Even if you heard me say something mean about someone why spread it or tell that person.. If I came to you and told you what mean things others say about you I’m sorry but your feelings would get hurt to.. But once again I”M not like that.. People need time to vent and just because you are frustrated with them today doesn’t mean that’s how you feel. But that also doesn’t give anyone permission to just go blab there mouth and tell other people what was said about them. Keep it to YOUR SELF…  Because one day it will come bite you in the ASS and its gonna hurt.. I know my feelings got hurt and now I’m down 2 friends because of it… My mouth is closed….

A Rough Spot In Life

First off let me tell you that life sometimes is rough, not just a little rough where your just having a bad day… But a I don’t want to be a adult rough… I’m not saying that my life is rougher then someone else, we just have different life situations and everyone interprets their roughness differently. Some feel that a death of a loved one is rough while some feel that it is a catastrophic event. Another example is some people wake up have find they are out of coffee or their favorite creamer they say that’s rough.. Where some just shrug their shoulders and leave 15 min earlier to stop at a coffee place. Everyone interprets things that happen in their life differently and everyone calls it something. Heck I have even called things that have happened in my life all sorts of things.. But right now I’m calling it a rough patch.

So lets talk about life situations that you think you want to happen…. So what makes us want something so bad, what makes the item you are after consume your whole body and thought process. Does this happen to everyone? Do you wake up thinking about it.. Going to bed thinking about it. Analyzing it to make sure that this is what you want… and then coming to the conclusion that you are okay with what ever happens..  Then when you find out that you don’t get it…. You feel empty and kinda lost.. Like what now…. How do you continue in the same spot when people look at you like a failure cause you didn’t get it.. Or maybe they don’t look at you like that at all, Maybe that’s how you look at your self..

Do you stand their and look in the mirror saying I’m a amazing _____( fill the blank in with what works for you, such as friend, mom, lady, man, dad,, mechanic, attorney,  nurse, teacher, coworker, excetera excetera)  but I’m a failure for not getting what I was after. So you try to continue on.. You try to understand what has happened and you try to move and and keep going.. Cause through it all, even with the failure you find that this isn’t going to stop you.. That you are a strong person and that it might look at a failure right now but it some how, and some way will turn out to be a blessing in disguise. So here are some of the best quotes that I have found for the night, for some reason these really hit home and touched my heart… I know I can’t really explain it and I wish that I could explain it to you all but for some reason I can’t explain it.

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The MOST important thing that you need to remember when you are going through a rough patch is to be GRATEFUL.  No matter how rough the situation is or how much of a failure I think I am for not getting what I was after, I am still grateful and blessed with what I have and the things I do have going for me. Something I feel people forget about and I feel its a very important thing to remember.

I just have those moments in my life and in my head is what I am doing enough. Do the people around me still think that I’m doing a great job.. Not that I need a pat on the back or anything like that but it would be great to know that I do a great job in moments when you feel like a failure. All I know is that if I was a different person I would handle this situation a little different and be a little kinder to the ones who you make feel like a failure.

All I do know is I hate feeling like this.. I hate felling like I’m a failure, I hate feeling like I am not doing good enough and that it I’m just a sitting time bomb before they take what I have worked so hard for to this point in my life away. I pray that anyone reading this never feels this way and that if by chance you have a rough spot in your life that God shows you why he is haven’t you go through this quicker then he is showing me.

Words I need to remember

” Even if you feel like a failure now..

God has a reason for not giving you what you where after,

and remember to be Grateful for what you do have”

(Lori G)

Stay at Home Mom VS Work

I always wanted to be a stay at home mom, my hole life that is what I always dreamed about. Being a mom and to top it off being a stay a home mom. Then I had my first kid – I thought sure I can do this, my sweet husband wanted to give me every chance to fulfill what I thought was my life dream of being a stay at home mom. I was in love with my husband even more at this moment in our life, just because he tried to give me my dream. We where able to do this for about  year and I was so bored – yes I loved my new little bundle of joy and watching him grow up the first year was great. But I had no friends that lived close and my husband worked nights and for me I felt so alone. I tried doing mommy and me activities and MOPS to get involved with other moms but it was not for me. Its hard to connect to a bunch of moms whose lives seem so perfect and who drive nice expensive cars, everyone was super nice but I felt that I had nothing and I mean nothing in common with them, so I stopped going..  So I got to the point that I was so depressed with life and so lonely that I decided to go back to work, adult conversations and interaction with people again I was so ready…..

Its amazing how you think one thing or that what you think you want but when you actually get to do it like be a stay at home mom you find out its not all that’s cracked up to be.. so for me I was ready to go back to work!

Then we had our daughter, we got so use to the money from me working that then there was no way I could be a stay a home mom, so back to work I went very quickly after having her, and at the time I was okay with that. Looking back at my life I wish I would have given my daughter a little more mom and me time before going back to work.

8 years later we are now at the present day, I work a full time job and take about 30hrs of call time on my days off. I work 3 12 hr shifts and work every other weekend.  We have gotten so wrapped up in life that I think there are times we forget about what is important. If money wasn’t a option I would love to be that stay at home mom that I use to long to be or not longed to be depending on the day way way back when.

I look at stay at home moms now and I can’t help but be jealous. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE MY JOB.. I love what I do and the people I get to help everyday. But there are times where I would give anything to just be a stay at home mom again and be able to have time off with my kids and do all the fun craft stuff that I love to do…..  To be able to have weekends, holidays weekdays off it would be amazing. But then there is the money aspect of life and for our family that just isn’t possible.

To see the moms be room parents and help at the school and to be the mom that has all the fun treats, I want that more and more. As I know my kids are getting older and that in the not so near future they will not want me to be all that involved in there life. But I also know that we have made a life using both of our incomes to live and that being a stay at home mom is in no way shape or for a option.

So I work, I love my work, I love everything about it and I couldn’t ever see my self in a different area then where I do work. To me I dreamed of being a ER nurse and every aspect of this job I love. but there are things like any other job that I would love to change… I work every other weekend and every other holiday and I get to see my kids face through pictures that my husband post on Facebook during my lunch break. It tares my heart to know that I have to miss moments in there life but that’s what happens when you are a nurse. People don’t stop getting sick – just because its a holiday. We are open 24 hrs a day 7 days a week, missing my family is a price we pay for being a nurse and caring for people. So the next time you go to a ER you start seeing a nurse getting yelled at because we are not fast enough for you – or we don’t get you back to see a doctor soon enough, remember this…. If it wasn’t for nurses LOVING WHAT WE DO and giving up time with there family you wouldn’t be able to be seen at all and the 30 min wait you just had would be more like 48hrs until Monday when the office opens.  We are here to care for you and do our best to make you feel better – we however are not here to be your punching bag of insults and rudeness…  Because trust me – we all would love to be with our families during holidays and birthdays and weekends then to be at work taking care of rude people…. My point to this is to have compassion and kindness in your heart when you come to get help…. Trust us we know you don’t feel good and you think that your emergency is more important then the person in front of you and we will do our best to make sure that we give you the same urgency and care that we gave the person in front of you, but just remember you don’t truly know the whole story to the person right in front of you. There are reasons why we bring people back first and its not because we like them more, its because we feel they might need a little more help then some of the others that walk in, but trust me on one thing… No matter where you walk in we will do our best to get to you ASAP.

But enough about my pitty pot soap box of the day.  Just think about the Soldiers who are on deployment who don’t get to have every other weekend off or every other holiday off – they don’t get any of that – they are lucky to be able to have Skype working long enough for it to connect and talk to there family.  They give up there lives for us – not just a weekend or a holiday they give up everyday when they are deployed. I at least get to go home and hug my kids and tell them how much I love them. They only get to hug there kids when and if they make it home. I am blessed by so many people who have chosen to give up there life to make mine better. Thank you to the Men and Women who have chosen to give up so much so I can still go home to my family tonight. I could never tell you THANK YOU ENOUGH…



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